Completing advance directives is an important part of advance care planning, but there’s another step people sometimes overlook: Talking to others about one’s wishes.

Adult children need to know what their parents would want if a debilitating illness strikes, according to Dr. Richard Payne, who leads the Duke Institute on Care at the End of Life.

Payne spoke to a breakfast crowd at Harper’s Restaurant on Jefferson Street during a recent visit to Nashville. The breakfast was hosted by The Gift Initiative of Alive Hospice, a community education program that was started to help adults plan for care in advance of illnesses and the end of life.

“As we think about what it means to grow as senior citizens gracefully, what we need to do is prepare ourselves and our families for situations where we may become too ill to tell doctors what our preferences for care are, and what kinds of things we want,” Payne said.

A 2009 Pew Research Center survey of adults aged 65 and older found that, while 76 percent had discussed wills/estate planning with their adult children, comparatively fewer had also discussed end-of-life medical decisions with their children. The study found that one in three people surveyed had not told their adult children what they’d want if they were unable to make medical decisions for themselves.

Payne spoke of heartbreaking conflicts between family members as they try to decide the course of action after a loved one has become ill. These conflicts can do lasting damage, he said, but they can be avoided if family members are informed in advance about what the patient would or would not want.

Completing a living will and appointing a healthcare power of attorney are very necessary, he said, but that’s not the end of the process.

“The key here is communicating. Putting the documents in place is important, but even more important is talking with your family and loved ones and designating someone who really will speak on your behalf,” Payne said.

Tips and tools for talking about advance care planning are available online at www.thegiftinitiative.org. Additionally, workshops on advance planning facilitated by The Gift Initiative may be requested online.

The community is invited to a panel discussion on end-of-life care on Tuesday, April 24 at the Center for the Arts, 110 W. College St. in Murfreesboro. This event is free.

Doors will open at 6:30 p.m., followed by the program at 7 p.m. For more information or to RSVP, contact Faye Northcutt-Knox at fknox@alivehospice.org or 615-896-4663.

This panel discussion is offered by The Gift Initiative, a community education collaborative created to help adults plan for care in advance of illnesses. The Gift Initiative is led by Alive Hospice with the support of partners from Vanderbilt University, Saint Thomas Health, The Minnie Pearl Cancer Foundation and a growing list of organizations and individuals who recognize the need for better education about the benefits of planning in advance for serious illness and end-of-life care.

The Gift Initiative is made possible by grants from Humana Communities Benefit and First Tennessee Foundation.

If you missed The Gift Initiative’s April 10 town hall meeting and panel discussion on end-of life care, we’re pleased to provide a live-tweet transcript. Click here to view highlights from the discussion.

COMING UP: Another town hall meeting on April 24 at the Center for the Arts in Murfreesboro. For more information or to RSVP, click here.

In addition to town hall meetings, The Gift Initiative is facilitating smaller workshops on advance-care planning. If you’d like to schedule a workshop, click here.