Janny Adkins

So many people, when considering hospice, think of benefits for the patient (of which there are many). At the top of the list for our patients is comfort care.

However, when I do information visits to explain hospice services to families, I always discuss the tremendous amount of help and assistance hospice offers to the families of our patients, too.

A life-limiting illness can impact loved ones, family, and friends as well as the patient. Here is a list of advantages of hospice care for the family:

• Emotional and spiritual support
• Education and teaching regarding how to physically care for an severely ill loved one at home
• Assistance and support with financial issues and concerns
• Medicine management and teaching in order to achieve optimal comfort care, and assistance with prescription refills
• Grief support and education, including anticipatory grieving (occurs before the loss of a loved one) and bereavement after a loss
• Support and education with regard to the letting-go process
• Respite care to allow care givers a time-out and rest
• Support and assistance with crisis management through 24/7 access to nursing and physician consultation and support
• Support and advocacy for health care decision-making

These are just a few of the advantages for the family and care givers of our hospice patients. If you would like to know more about how Alive Hospice may help you in your care of a loved one, call me at 615-332-4003 or e-mail me.

Janny Adkins is an Alive Hospice account executive who informs health care professionals, patients, and families about hospice care.

Ruth Williams

Sometimes, in the quiet, safe cocoon of a grief counselor’s office, grieving individuals “confess” that their grief is beginning to ebb and flow – perhaps even subside. And that often makes them feel a little uncomfortable.

The deep love we have for those who have died brings with it pain and discomfort, but it also may bring relief in some circumstances. When our loved ones are obviously losing quality of life moment by moment, it’s hard to continue to see them suffer.

For many, after a loss, it may seem almost impossible to imagine NOT grieving. So, when moments of not being focused on loss sneak up on us, we’re caught off guard, feeling almost guilty we had a moment of freedom from distress.

So many of us are overly concerned about what others think. We may be timid about sharing our waning sorrow with others, worrying that we might be seen as callous, heartless, etc., that somehow we simply must not have loved “enough.” (If you are able to have someone in your life like a grief counselor or a support group of fellow grievers, that could be the perfect place to share such experiences.)

The spirit is resilient. We as individuals can be amazingly resilient. Part of that resiliency is to allow ourselves moments of freedom from grief. At a pace only your own, you will find your own moments will lengthen and a sense of calm may well return — eventually.

Your loved one would surely understand. And at some point, a gift of rest from distress will be well-received – and deservedly so.

Ruth Williams is a counselor with Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavement support program of Alive Hospice. To reach Alive Grief Support Services, call 615-963-4732 or click here.

Ruth Williams

The Gallatin News Examiner and Hendersonville Star News recently published a guest column by Alive Hospice Grief Counselor (and blogger!) Ruth Williams. The column gives tips for coping with holiday grief.

An excerpt:

Having a person missing from the traditional family scene may draw your attention to what isn’t instead of what is. Instead of pretending the loss isn’t real, sometimes it may help to share stories about the person now absent from the family photo. Everyone has a unique perspective on the legacy of the person who has died. And, yes, tears (and occasional laughter) can be very healing!

How do we cope in the middle of a season filled with seemingly endless events and celebrations – public, private and faith-based?

See the answer to Ruth’s question here.

The following is a transcript of live-tweeting from @AliveHospice’s December 1, 2011 Grief During the Holidays seminar, provided for the benefit of those who were unable to join us in person. These annual seminars are facilitated by Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavement support program of Alive Hospice.

AliveHospice Live-tweeting from @AliveHospice’s #Nashville holiday grief seminar begins at 6:30 pm (Central). Hashtag to follow: #holidaygrief
4:06 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice In 30 minutes: We’ll begin live-tweeting from @AliveHospice’s Grief During the Holidays seminar. #holidaygrief
5:57 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice People are beginning to arrive for our Grief During the Holidays seminar… #holidaygrief
6:10 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice We’ll begin live-tweeting at the Grief During the Holidays seminar in just a few moments. #holidaygrief
6:28 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice We have 2 holiday grief seminars running simultaneously tonight in #Nashville & #Murfreesboro. #holidaygrief
6:31 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice These seminars are presented by Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavment support program of @AliveHospice. #holidaygrief 
6:32 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice In addition to tonight’s seminars, we provide individual grief counseling, support groups, camps & more. #holidaygrief
6:35 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice Good evening! Thanks for joining us as we live-tweet from @AliveHospice’s Grief During the Holidays seminar. #holidaygrief
6:38 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice Leading tonight’s seminars are Grief Counselors John Baker (#Nashville) & Pam Quaintance (#Murfreesboro). #holidaygrief
6:40 PM Dec 1, 2011

Read the rest of this entry »

For anyone who couldn’t attend Alive Hospice’s Nov. 17 Grief During the Holidays seminar, we have two more coming up! Next Thursday, Dec. 1, Alive Hospice will host a seminar in Nashville and another in Murfreesboro. Both are free and begin at 6:30 p.m.

To register online, click here. For more information, call 615-963-4732 for the Nashville seminar and 615-907-1677 for the Murfreesboro seminar.

If you can’t make it to one of the seminars on Dec. 1, check out tips for coping with holiday grief on Alive Hospice’s Facebook page. Click here.

Lauren Thurman

Grieving teens often feel alone and misunderstood when it comes to their thoughts and feelings about the death of a loved one. Even though there might be adults in their lives who care and want to help, sometimes only someone your age who is going through something similar can really understand your experience.

The Alive Teen Retreat was created just for that purpose: to bring grieving high school students together to provide support and understanding from a group of peers.

Coming up October 14-16, Alive Hospice will be hosting our 3rd annual Alive Teen Retreat. The Teen Retreat offers a weekend away filled with outdoor adventure, games and sports, and small group time and activities. Some of our outdoor activities include a climbing tower, canoeing, a zip line, ropes course, and campfires. 

These physical challenges are used to help teens recognize their inner strength when faced with all sorts of challenges in their lives. The small group time gives the teens a supportive place they can share and work through their feelings and experiences.

We hope that the teens take away from the retreat

• a sense or normalcy in what they are going through, and
• ideas about how they can weave the relationship and life of their loved one into their future.

We realize that it takes some courage to commit to attending a retreat such as this. You are not alone if you are feeling nervous about saying yes! All of the participants before you felt that way in the beginning. 

Here’s what they had to say about the experience:

I love how on Day 1 no one knew each other, and by Day 2 I was talking to everyone. Now I have new friends who understand.

It is fun and emotional but it’s very good and healthy for you to get it out in a positive way.

Don’t be shy. Once you get there it is worth the experience. Don’t be afraid to show your feelings.

You will participate in outdoor challenges that you may have never done before. You will come away with tools to help you get through this difficult time in your life. You will have fun and make friends!

There’s still time to register, but don’t wait! To register for the Alive Teen Retreat, or for more information, call 615-963-4732 or click here.

Ruth Williams

Alive Hospice offers quarterly grief support groups to individuals who have lost a loved one (any loved one: family, friend, coworker, or any other significant person). Our autumn support groups will begin in September. As you look at your own personal journey of healing, I’d like to share my “top ten” reasons for joining a grief support group:

10. The facilitators are experienced in the field of grief and are there to help.

9. You can learn about what is typical in grieving the loss of a loved one.

8. Your confidentiality is protected. It’s a “safe zone” where you can share the whole range of feelings you’re experiencing.

7. You can learn strategies for coping with your loss.

6. It’s nice to have a place to be honest about the changes you’re experiencing without fear of judgment or critique.

5. Having a set time to process your grief sometimes gives you a place to “put it” or to “save up” for. (In other words, it provides structure!)

4. You can hear the stories of others and learn from them.

3. It’s nice to share with others about your loved ones. Often in sharing, you learn even more about their legacy.

2. Tears are welcome and understood.

1. It helps to know you are not alone in your grieving.

Our autumn support groups will meet in Nashville, Madison, Brentwood and Murfreesboro. Register by September 1! For more information, call 615-963-4732 or click here.

Ruth Williams is a counselor with Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavement support program of Alive Hospice. To reach Alive Grief Support Services, call 615-963-4732 or click here.

Ruth Williams

A “tune-up” may be necessary every now and then. Stresses tend to accumulate at times. When one area of your life seems to be smoothing out, another may knock you down. When grief is in the middle of it all, it may seem like simply too much to bear. That’s very understandable.

Alive Hospice’s grief counselors offer both individual counseling and quarterly support groups. Many folks take advantage of both services. Grief is not “one size fits all.”

Sometimes what works is to have a few individual sessions, then move into a group. Some folks may attend a group, then come in for a counseling session or two. Many individuals may benefit from a handful of counseling sessions while others need a weekly visit to a grief counselor for a year or more.

Often folks do quite well for a time then need a “tune-up.” No matter how much counseling one receives, it’s very possible (and even likely) to hit a bump in the road. When this happens, it’s okay to come in and have a session or two to get systems back in working order!

All of us grief counselors probably hear ourselves say repeatedly, “Grief is individual. There’s no right way or wrong way to grieve.” And there’s no particular time frame that works for everyone either. Since difficult things in life may come up in non-grief-related areas, what feels like a good period can quickly change into an “I can’t handle any more” kind of period.

There’s no need for an apology for needing some help along the route to healing from the loss of a loved one. It’s a wonderful opportunity to allow others to reach out to you, when you have probably lent a hand when others are having a difficult time. We’re all in this life thing together!

Having a relationship with a grief counselor is a great opportunity to pick up the phone and say, “Can I come in for a session or two?” Of course. That’s why we’re here. And you may be amazed. Whereas you may have come in for 6-8 sessions before, this time 1-2 might suffice. And if you need more, it’s absolutely no problem.

We’re here to help.

Ruth Williams is a counselor with Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavement support program of Alive Hospice. To reach Alive Grief Support Services, call 615-963-4732 or click here.