So many people, when considering hospice, think of benefits for the patient (of which there are many). At the top of the list for our patients is comfort care.
However, when I do information visits to explain hospice services to families, I always discuss the tremendous amount of help and assistance hospice offers to the families of our patients, too.
A life-limiting illness can impact loved ones, family, and friends as well as the patient. Here is a list of advantages of hospice care for the family:
Emotional and spiritual support
Education and teaching regarding how to physically care for an severely ill loved one at home
Assistance and support with financial issues and concerns
Medicine management and teaching in order to achieve optimal comfort care, and assistance with prescription refills
Grief support and education, including anticipatory grieving (occurs before the loss of a loved one) and bereavement after a loss
Support and education with regard to the letting-go process
Respite care to allow care givers a time-out and rest
Support and assistance with crisis management through 24/7 access to nursing and physician consultation and support
Support and advocacyfor health care decision-making
These are just a few of the advantages for the family and care givers of our hospice patients. If you would like to know more about how Alive Hospice may help you in your care of a loved one, call me at 615-332-4003 or e-mail me.
Janny Adkins is an Alive Hospice account executive who informs health care professionals, patients, and families about hospice care.
Having a person missing from the traditional family scene may draw your attention to what isn’t instead of what is. Instead of pretending the loss isn’t real, sometimes it may help to share stories about the person now absent from the family photo. Everyone has a unique perspective on the legacy of the person who has died. And, yes, tears (and occasional laughter) can be very healing!
How do we cope in the middle of a season filled with seemingly endless events and celebrations – public, private and faith-based?
Many times people want to show their care and support but have questions about whether to visit, how long to stay, or what to say when visiting someone who is very ill.Â
Here are a few suggestions:
1. Presence counts.People may not remember what you say but they remember that you cared enough to be there. Don’t feel you have to have answers or profound words. A caring presence can be a gift.
3. Silence is okay. If a person doesn’t want to talk or is unable to talk, you can say, “I’ll sit with you for a little while.” It may give the family a break if you offer to sit with someone while they run an errand or eat a meal.
4. Keep visits brief. In most cases it is best not to stay too long or to have too many visitors at one time. A 10-15 minute visit may be enough to show you care. You might try to call first to make sure it is a good time. If someone doesn’t feel like a visit, don’t take it personally; respect their wishes.
5. Bring a little something. You may want to bring a greeting card or a picture or clipping or a flower. You might need to check before leaving food, unless you are bringing food just for the family.
People appreciate knowing you are thinking of them and that you care.
Many of us have been asked this question. For me, going to college and receiving a college degree was a given. Choosing the career path was the most difficult.
One day, a friend spoke to me during my time of pondering and said, “Why don’t you become a social worker?”
Evidently, this individual could see my heart of caring and compassion. What a ray of sunshine she brought to me. I thought, “Yes, that’s me!”
The heart of a social worker is helping people.
Social workers give of themselves, their time, and talents.
Social workers must have the answers when no one else knows.
Social workers must be resourceful individuals who are knowledgeable of products and services.
Social workers are problem solvers, advocates, educators, financial planners, customer service reps, peacemakers, counselors, and investigators.
Thank you, Alive Hospice, for giving me the opportunity to share my skills and talents as a social worker by serving hospice patients and families who deserve the best.
For many of our families the holiday season brings many emotions –- both good and bad. They are both thankful that their loved one is still with them and sad because it may very well be the last holiday they celebrate together.
As I talk with them, I usually suggest some ways to make the holiday super-special. I suggest the family ask visitors and/or family members to sign a book placed in a special place for people to write greetings or memories for the loved one. Because of the illness, a big celebration may be too much, but having an open house for short visits or smaller celebrations over several days may work well. If there is a celebration in the home of the patient, I urge the patient to do what he/she can do and rest when necessary. Everyone will understand.
With the internet and computers so prevalent today, the family may want to celebrate virtually, either through online chat and video conferencing or through e-mail greetings and memories (or all of the above!). This, too, may provide the loved ones who will be left behind an opportunity for memories and stories.
Cards and letters are another way to communicate. It provides another written record of the love that is shared among all of the loved ones and the patient.
I encourage loved ones to decide in advance what will work for them during this time and at the same time encourage them to be aware of how the patient is feeling and what needs to be done to keep him or her comfortable.
Finally, if the patient is not conscious, I encourage loved ones to talk to him/her. We believe that the sense of hearing is active until death. This is the time to tell the patient who has visited or sent a card or letter and what it said. This is also the time to say everything in their hearts that they want to say.
I wish all of you love during this holiday season and peace for 2011.
Nanette Matheis an Alive Hospice chaplain and part of the agency’s Murfreesboro team.
The National Hospice Month tribute video is now available for all to see! If you know someone who wants to know more about hospice care, this is a powerful tool to use.
Alive Hospice is honored to have taken part in this project. Our sincere thanks and appreciation to the producers of this video, and to all who joined together with one voice in the name of hospice!
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and that’s at least how many words describe hospice!
What does hospice mean to you? Share it with the world! As part of National Hospice and Palliative Care Month, supporters from across the nation are taking part in a special video project. It’s designed to help raise awareness about and increase access to hospice care. Above are the photos Alive Hospice submitted. We’re excited about taking part in this project, and we hope you will, too!
Will you join in with us? All you have to do is have someone take a photo of yourself holding up a sign with a word you think best describes hospice and submit it via e-mail. Deadline: November 24, Midnight Pacific Standard Time.
I am blessed that I spent many years being a hospice home-care nurse. I desperately wanted my patients to be free from pain and symptoms. I wanted the family to feel supported and nurtured. The interdisciplinary team with whom I worked had the same priorities.
Because death happens to each and every one of us, my husband became a hospice patient. Being on the other side of my life’s work was surreal. Having such experience as a hospice nurse was suddenly useless. After the admissions nurse left, I was aware there is no protocol as to what to do next. I felt like there should be some service to mark such an event. My husband suggested I cook dinner.
As his nurse began visiting and medications were changed and adjusted, I realized the relief I experienced because I no longer was the point person for his care. The social worker helped my husband prepare his goodbyes. He looked forward to the Monday morning chaplain visits, and apparently, they talked about everything.
The support I felt as a caregiver was enormous. The fatigue I felt was equally as big. I never understood what my families endured. Being up at night, receiving the many people that visited my larger than life husband and just trying to keep life moving was often more than I could do.
My best friend and I had our friend, the funeral director, meet at my office to plan the services.
Minutes after my husband died, our house was full of people that loved me and my darling husband. Folks were coming in from all over. I knew that we were loved. I knew that I was blessed.
I never knew the lessons one can learn in such a horrific time. I am learning forgiveness. I am allowing people to help me. I am able to say that I am having a bad day. I am becoming more transparent. Grief is hard work. Change is difficult. I know that every experience can allow me spiritual growth even if I am not growing graciously.
Sarah Neeley has been part of the Alive Hospice Team for 26 years. She joined the agency as a home-care nurse in 1983 and today serves as clinical nurse educator.
