Ruth Williams

Sometimes, in the quiet, safe cocoon of a grief counselor’s office, grieving individuals “confess” that their grief is beginning to ebb and flow – perhaps even subside. And that often makes them feel a little uncomfortable.

The deep love we have for those who have died brings with it pain and discomfort, but it also may bring relief in some circumstances. When our loved ones are obviously losing quality of life moment by moment, it’s hard to continue to see them suffer.

For many, after a loss, it may seem almost impossible to imagine NOT grieving. So, when moments of not being focused on loss sneak up on us, we’re caught off guard, feeling almost guilty we had a moment of freedom from distress.

So many of us are overly concerned about what others think. We may be timid about sharing our waning sorrow with others, worrying that we might be seen as callous, heartless, etc., that somehow we simply must not have loved “enough.” (If you are able to have someone in your life like a grief counselor or a support group of fellow grievers, that could be the perfect place to share such experiences.)

The spirit is resilient. We as individuals can be amazingly resilient. Part of that resiliency is to allow ourselves moments of freedom from grief. At a pace only your own, you will find your own moments will lengthen and a sense of calm may well return — eventually.

Your loved one would surely understand. And at some point, a gift of rest from distress will be well-received – and deservedly so.

Ruth Williams is a counselor with Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavement support program of Alive Hospice. To reach Alive Grief Support Services, call 615-963-4732 or click here.