Our friend Kip Kirby visited Alive Hospice this month to present a donation in memory of her husband, Mr. Todd Cerney. During her visit she read the following letter, which we share with permission. In January of this year, Mr. Cerney kicked off the 18th annual Alive at The Bluebird concert series, a benefit for Alive Hospice. We’ll be forever grateful to Mr. Cerney and his family for their support. Alive Hospice was deeply honored to provide care and support during Mr. Cerney’s illness.

And unfortunately it wasn’t. When my husband, songwriter Todd Cerney, was given the shattering diagnosis of Stage IV melanoma in November of 2010, we knew from the beginning that his last days would be with you. When that time came – far sooner than any of his doctors predicted – we brought Todd to The Residence with a sense of peace, knowing he would receive the finest care and love possible.

There are no words for me to express my admiration, awe and affection for the staff of Alive Hospice. I stand in awe at the work you do and the lives you touch. You cannot know (yet hopefully you do) how each tiny act you perform, each smile you bestow, each kind word you offer touches your patients and their families. There were many visitors who came to see Todd and me and his parents, Chuck and Phyllis Cerney, while he was with you, and I know how deeply affected they all were by what they saw at The Residence.

Todd could not have had better care anywhere else in the world. I was comforted then and will always be that he spent his last days in the best and most capable, loving hands possible. Who can ask for more than that?

Thank you forever for what you do.

Very best regards,

Kip Kirby

Kip Kirby stopped by this month to present a donation to Alive Hospice in memory of her husband, Mr. Todd Cerney. Pictured, left to right: Todd Cerney’s mother, Mrs. Phyllis Cerney; Alive Hospice Vice President of Community Development Pam Brown; Kip Kirby;  and Mr. Cerney’s father, Dr. Chuck Cerney. Kip is pictured holding the above letter, which we’re sharing with her permission.

Today, artisan Jane Ann Driscoll of Canterbury Pottery shares what goes into creating Alive Hospice’s 2011 holiday ornament. Each ornament is hand-made, and the intricate design is a reminder that Alive Hospice provides care anywhere a patient calls home. Each purchase helps make that care available to all who need it, regardless of insurance coverage status or ability to pay.

How long have you made porcelain ornaments? 

I have been making the ornaments for about 9 years. I started out using my white stoneware clay that I use for bigger wheel-thrown pieces and quickly realized it was too rough and not white enough for my brand of perfectionism so I moved on to porcelain.  I used a pretty good porcelain until last year when I found the amazing pure white porcelain I am using now. The main ingredient is mined in England and I just love how much whiter and brighter it turns out.

 

How long does it take to complete each ornament?

The Alive Hospice ornaments take right at 3 hours to carve and sand and then another 6 hours to fire in the kiln.

 

What’s involved in creating the ornaments?

I start with a drawing of the design, then make a template out of plastic sheeting by cutting out the design (the plastic holds up better than a paper template if I have to make multiple ornaments). I have a contraption called a slab roller where I roll out a huge slab of wet porcelain the correct thickness for the ornament. After it dries a bit I cut out the outside circle for the ornament.

 

Then I use the needle tool (the equivalent of a sewing needle with a small wooden dowel used as the handle) to carefully care out the intricate designs. After carving, the edges are still rough so I use the needle tool to bevel all the edges of every cut. And then, to make them even smoother, I use a small paint brush dipped in water and smooth out the edges completely. 

 

After about a day the ornament is dry and I can use a very fine sanding sponge to sand the whole piece and all the edges even more. The sanding takes about an hour for each ornament because I am such a perfectionist and want the piece to be as smooth as possible. This is done outside with the use of a very good respirator. Once I get enough ornaments made (about 40) to fill my kiln, I fire it for about 6 hours until it reaches around 2,100 or so degrees.

 

What is your hope for every piece you create?

My only goal when I create a piece is to make it the best I possibly can, as perfect as possible in hopes that it brings joy to those that own them. I love to watch the clay go from one thing to another, to see it change and grow.

 

What do you think about as you make these keepsakes? 

I spend a lot of time thinking about the people who will receive the pieces, whether they are people that have been touched by the use of the hospice services themselves and have grieved and feel the need to give back to the organization that helped them. Or just people who are kind-hearted and generous and want to help others in a time when they need it the most.

 

My hope would be that people who order the ornaments would feel joy and comfort. I believe in good things coming back two-fold to those that give to others so I believe those who give to Alive Hospice will in some aspect of their lives receive something they need at just the right time in their lives.

 

I pray for all those touched by hospice as I’m working and hope that somehow in the spiritual realm of life some of that gets caught up in the work and finds its way to the donors. I hope somehow the donors are touched, inspired, and receive goodness back for their good deeds.

 

I honestly and truly try to send the love that I use in creating the work along with each piece.

 

To order a 2011 Alive Hospice holiday ornament, click here.

Ruth Williams

The Gallatin News Examiner and Hendersonville Star News recently published a guest column by Alive Hospice Grief Counselor (and blogger!) Ruth Williams. The column gives tips for coping with holiday grief.

An excerpt:

Having a person missing from the traditional family scene may draw your attention to what isn’t instead of what is. Instead of pretending the loss isn’t real, sometimes it may help to share stories about the person now absent from the family photo. Everyone has a unique perspective on the legacy of the person who has died. And, yes, tears (and occasional laughter) can be very healing!

How do we cope in the middle of a season filled with seemingly endless events and celebrations – public, private and faith-based?

See the answer to Ruth’s question here.

The following is a transcript of live-tweeting from @AliveHospice’s December 1, 2011 Grief During the Holidays seminar, provided for the benefit of those who were unable to join us in person. These annual seminars are facilitated by Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavement support program of Alive Hospice.

AliveHospice Live-tweeting from @AliveHospice’s #Nashville holiday grief seminar begins at 6:30 pm (Central). Hashtag to follow: #holidaygrief
4:06 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice In 30 minutes: We’ll begin live-tweeting from @AliveHospice’s Grief During the Holidays seminar. #holidaygrief
5:57 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice People are beginning to arrive for our Grief During the Holidays seminar… #holidaygrief
6:10 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice We’ll begin live-tweeting at the Grief During the Holidays seminar in just a few moments. #holidaygrief
6:28 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice We have 2 holiday grief seminars running simultaneously tonight in #Nashville & #Murfreesboro. #holidaygrief
6:31 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice These seminars are presented by Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavment support program of @AliveHospice. #holidaygrief 
6:32 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice In addition to tonight’s seminars, we provide individual grief counseling, support groups, camps & more. #holidaygrief
6:35 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice Good evening! Thanks for joining us as we live-tweet from @AliveHospice’s Grief During the Holidays seminar. #holidaygrief
6:38 PM Dec 1, 2011

AliveHospice Leading tonight’s seminars are Grief Counselors John Baker (#Nashville) & Pam Quaintance (#Murfreesboro). #holidaygrief
6:40 PM Dec 1, 2011

Read the rest of this entry »

Today, the Alive Hospice Blog travels to South Africa with this reflection by Karen Nash, director of Alive Grief Support Services. Karen visited Alive Hospice’s South African sister hospice in 2003. Alive Hospice’s annual All Things Beaded and Beyond sale is tomorrow, December 2, and proceeds will benefit hospice care in South Africa. By shopping at this sale, Middle Tennesseans can help make a difference half a world away!

      Karen Nash

I had never thought about going to South Africa like so many other people had. They were drawn there by the thrill of being on safari, seeing the astounding wildlife in Kruger National Park, shopping at Victoria Street Market in Durban (a city boasting the largest Indian population outside of India), or viewing the unsurpassed vistas atop Table Mountain which looks out on Cape Town, one of the most beautiful cities in all the world. Those things did not beckon to me like the castles that dot the Rhine in Germany, the breathtaking peaks of the Swiss Alps, the grand palaces in Austria, or the majestic cathedrals throughout all of Europe.

Yet, I did go to South Africa 8 years ago in August 2003 when Alive Hospice offered me the chance to visit Hospice in the West, our sister hospice (recently renamed Hospice West Gauteng. I was part of a national delegation of 25 hospice professionals who traveled as a group through South Africa for about 10 days seeing the sites and many different hospices. We then broke off to visit each of our partner hospices for a week before gathering to process our experiences and return home. While there, I saw such amazing personal and collective strength from Hospice in the West staff and their patients. Much like here, I visited patients living in a variety of social settings, but in South Africa resources are slim and the challenges are vast.

What I remember most is the grace and spirit of the people and the way South Africa now beckons to me more than any other place I have ever been. I remember my visits with patients in the township areas and the efforts the hospice made to provide individual and group services to them. The townships are large communities where blacks have historically been delegated to live, much like Native American reservations here in our country.

I remember the way the nurses (called “sisters” in South Africa) would rotate the use of one company car the hospice had been able to buy from grant money and I remember how the other “sisters” would borrow or use their own vehicles and pay for their own gas on the days they did not get to use the company car. This was a great financial sacrifice for many of them, beyond what we can imagine.

I remember the old van which had been donated years before and was frequently driven by a volunteer to take a team nurses to see various patients in the township. This was the same van that picked up patients and their families once a week to bring them together for group interaction and a meal with other patients & families who did have transportation.

Age, gender, race, ethnicity, or financial status had no bearing there. I remember a sea of people at the groups – young and old, black and white, well-to-do and poor — all gathered together in the common bond that forms when facing cancer and HIV.

I remember so vividly the significant hardships I observed. As if their diseases weren’t hardship enough, many people in South Africa live in poverty with no electricity or running water.

I remember a patient who lived in a subsidized apartment and relied on the hospice to provide pre-packaged food that amounted to about 5 meals — probably the most food the patient would get from week to week.

Some bear hardships of a different kind: separation from dear family members, but holding out hope that they’ll be reunited.

Eight years later I also remember the hospitality they showed me. I’ll never forget giving candy to the children I encountered, a small way to show them someone they had never met cared about them, too. I anticipated the joy on their faces when I gave it to them. What I didn’t expect was being handed a piece of the candy I gave out because a child thought I should have some, too. I hoped to meet some of the extraordinary people who care for each other under such difficult circumstances, but I didn’t foresee the gratitude they expressed for my visit or the humility I would feel as I was given a homemade jar of fruit.

I remember the scores of children I met in the township areas and my joy being with them in all their energy and youthful exuberance, despite most of them having lost one or both parents to HIV. I remember how touched I was when one of the children gave me a beaded necklace he had made for me of the flag of South Africa.

I treasure this necklace and will be wearing it on December 2 at All Things Beaded and Beyond, our fundraiser for Hospice West Gauteng. I hope I’ll see you there, too.

Karen Nash is director of Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavement support program of Alive Hospice.