Editor’s note: This story appears in Alive Hospice’s latest Connection newsletter, which can be viewed here.

Ms. Rose Simonson (left) became Mrs. Tom Coleman with     help from Alive Hospice Chaplain Gene Lovelace (far right)     and others.

After 27 years, Rose Simonson thought it was time.

Tom Coleman had been at her side for all those years, and though they talked about marriage on occasion, they never took that big step. That is, until Alive Hospice came into their lives.

Alive Hospice caregivers believe that hospice isn’t just about dying. It’s about living well during the time a person has left. To help that happen, they work to alleviate suffering in whatever form it may come: physical, emotional and spiritual. When possible, they like to make special wishes come true for patients – one more way to enhance quality of life.

In Rose’s case, marrying the love of her life was what she wanted. She shared this wish with her Alive Hospice social worker, and her caregivers got to work. In one week, Rose would be walking down the aisle.

With a small crowd assembled for the occasion, Rose and Tom stood before an Alive Hospice chaplain and chaplain-in-training, who officiated at the ceremony.

Read the rest of the story by clicking here. It appears on page 4.

Nanette Mathe

Many times, when I meet a patient and family for the first time, I feel as if I become a member of the family. They welcome me into their lives as if I were a long-lost great aunt, coming to care for them using all of the dying-related experience I have gathered through this work. They look to me to share this experience, to normalize the dying process, and to explain what is happening. It is an honor and privilege to belong to these families for this part of these patients’ life journeys.

It is an honor to hear the stories, learn the history and share all of the emotions each person goes through. It is a privilege to walk alongside someone whose body is passing away, but whose spirit, I believe, is growing stronger and stronger.

One of our nurses uses the image that we are assisting the birthing of the spirit as we care for the dying body. After the spirit is “born” and the body falls away, my work is done. Our grief counselors care for the family members left behind. But, like that long-lost great aunt, I return to my home and move on to belong to yet another family in need.

Nanette Mathe is an Alive Hospice chaplain who serves on the agency’s Murfreesboro team.

Jan Jones

Webster defines an oxymoron as “a contradictory phrase.”  Many people have said to me, “Alive Hospice…  isn’t that an oxymoron?”  To which I respond, “NO WAY.”

Well, maybe not in exactly those words but that is the strength with which I feel it. “Alive Hospice” perfectly describes what it is that we are about: living fully throughout all phases and stages of life. Nothing could be more lively than that.

Our founders, John Flexner and David Barton, came up with our name through a lively discussion in the living room of David and Lynn Barton some 35 years ago. They were discussing with a group of interested parties how people facing life-threatening illnesses might best be supported.  As they talked, they came up with the beginning of an acronym: A-L-I, standing for “Adjusting to Life-threatening Illness,” to which someone replied “Very Effectively,” hence the name ALIVE.

In that living room were two families who were facing just such illnesses in their own lives, and they are the ones who defined what meant the most to them in what they would want to receive. From that amazing gathering and conversation was born the Alive Hospice program. We have been privileged to learn from thousands of families over the past 35 years what that experience is to them and we’ve grown our programs and resources to better provide for the plethora of individual needs that exist. This year alone we will serve over 3,000 families.

We are all grateful to the many families who have touched us and taught us over those years and to the staff who have lovingly cared for those needs. It is those we have been privileged to serve who have said to me, “Now I get it! That name is perfect for who you are!” 

So if you wonder again if our name is an oxymoron, please hear it from those we serve how much Alive Hospice is about LIVING!

Jan Jones is president and CEO of Alive Hospice.

Sarah Neeley

I became a hospice home care nurse just as the Medicare Hospice Benefit was approved in 1983. I, of course, was still teething. I was, and still am, a home care nurse and an inpatient unit nurse, when needed. I love this about Alive Hospice! I still see patients and make a difference.

My role changed on my anniversary date of April 11, 2008 when I became the Clinical Nurse Educator for Alive Hospice, a new position in the Performance Improvement and Training Department. I began by re-writing policies and procedures, planning and scheduling in-services, and being a resource to nurses.

As the Clinical Nurse Educator, I regularly review the literature regarding the best quality of care. I have developed skills labs for new employees and for performance evaluations. Our nurses at Alive Hospice seek the very best for their patients and families and they welcome this training. I am called, sought out, and requested to assist not only with nursing training but with patient and family teaching as well. Some nurses may be uncomfortable with performing a procedure they have not performed often. I am a phone call and a home visit away. Patient care improves when one can say, “I do not know but I know how to get help.”

To teach other nurses loving symptom relief care, and their families, is a grand experience.

The position of Clinical Nurse Educator has improved our patient and family satisfaction scores. The most important skill I attempt to invoke with all is the skill of communication. If we communicate well, then the patient and family are best served.

The fact that Alive Hospice chose to create the position of Clinical Nurse Educator shows that we’re a progressive organization. Alive Hospice allocated resources for extensive training and ongoing education to provide the quality of care for which we have always been identified.

Ongoing education and commitment to learning are essential to quality hospice care.

Sarah Neeley is Alive Hospice’s clinical nurse educator and the proud mother of a recent college graduate!

Alive Hospice was asked to take part in Salute to Nurses magazine recently, and as part of National Nurses Week, we’re thrilled to share the article with you! (Posted on the Alive Hospice website with permission.)

Pixie McCord-Mills, clinical director of Alive Hospice at Saint Thomas Hospital, shared with Salute to Nurses why she loves her job for the publication’s Spring 2010 edition. Alive Hospice at Saint Thomas Hospital is a 16-bed hospice inpatient unit housed at Saint Thomas Hospital and operated by Alive Hospice.

Salute to Nurses is a quarterly news magazine for nursing health professionals throughout Middle Tennessee.

From Pixie McCord-Mills: “My real name is Helen Louise. My mother knew with a name like Helen Louise, somebody was going to give me a nickname. She wanted to be sure it was something she liked. She always called me her little pixie and it stuck.”

Lisa Graham

There’s really no way to have a bad day as a hospice nurse. No matter what kind of personal problem I might have on my mind on a given day, it completely vanishes as I walk through the door to visit a hospice patient. There in the light of the patient and family, I immediately step into the calling, the wonderful opportunity to love, to listen, and to respond.

The end of life is such a private and sacred time. I recognize the honor of being allowed inside the experience, where there can be real fears, real problems, real pain and the real sense of loneliness. So, whether I simply answer the call to listen and understand, to offer a smile and a happy thought, an answer to a desperate question, to provide comfort from physical pain, or as in many times, to share some joy,  a wonderful connection is made. I think it is called friendship. I know it is an honor. And, I’m grateful to be a nurse with Alive Hospice.

Lisa Graham is an Alive Hospice home-care nurse.

Ruth Williams

One of the ways of describing my journey with Mother in the last days of her life was as an “alternative universe.” It was different from anything I’d ever experienced before.

These last few days, following the massive storms and flooding in Middle Tennessee, it has felt like a kind of alternative universe. Lives have been lost and massive numbers of people have lost their homes and belongings. Places no one ever suspected were in danger were under water. Many may have also lost their sense of safety and security. It is very surreal to see the images on television and in person.

The kind of grief we deal with at Alive Hospice is the grief individuals experience with the loss of a loved one. There are people who have lost their lives due to the flooding; and, of course, many are grieving those losses. The massive loss of home and shelter and material possessions is devastating as well, although “stuff” can often be dried out, repaired, or replaced.

Across the hall from my office, numerous Red Cross volunteers gather to organize an amazing effort of rescue and recovery.

Just like grieving the loss of a loved one, shock and a type of numbness is often the first response. It is surreal. “Please, someone, wake me up from this nightmare.”

One of the ways to help with others experiencing a loss is to do something practical for them. In the case of a death, friends and neighbors may offer to cut a lawn, run an errand, or bake a casserole. In the current crisis, folks are helping by providing food, shelter, water, transportation, cleaning supplies, etc.

Surreal? Absolutely. But there are concrete ways to help. And for those of us spared the grief of a direct loss from this horrific storm, we feel a kind of collective grief for our community. Offering a helping hand can help in the healing process for us all.

Ruth Williams is a counselor with Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavement support program of Alive Hospice.

The May 2010 edition of Palliative Care Grand Rounds, hosted this month by Thaddeus Pope at the Medical Futility blog, has been posted. Palliative Care Grand Rounds is a monthly round-up of compelling blog entries focusing on hospice, palliative care and grief matters. Check it out!