We’d like to wish our readers a very happy and safe holiday season. The Alive Hospice Blog will return with new posts after the new year. We’re looking forward to 2010!

(By the way, if you’re making any decisions on year-end giving, it’s not too late to support Alive Hospice!)

Happy holidays, and happy new year.

Ruth Williams

One of the things you’ll hear us grief counselors say often is that each person is unique. Each experience of grief is unique. Consequently, one of the supreme challenges in anyone’s journey of grieving comes when there is a shared event like a holiday. We’ve just made it through another one, Thanksgiving.

How (or “if”) we celebrate the last Thursday in November with family is probably dependent on lots of things. “Tradition” may be at the top of the list. This year, particularly if a loved one is absent, it may have been cause for a change in the tradition.

In my family of origin, we created our own unique tradition beginning in 1966, when we moved to the only house we managed to purchase (we’d been renters till then). We moved in during the Thanksgiving weekend. Even though my mother was an excellent cook, there was no way we could swing a turkey dinner! After all, we weren’t even sure which boxes held the dishes, much less the pots and pans!

So, being the naturally creative folks we were, we decided we’d have hot dogs and cook them in the fireplace. It was great. A new “alternative” Thanksgiving tradition was born. Every year, as we counted one more year in our very own home, we’d manage to have a hot dog meal sometime during the Thanksgiving weekend. These last few years, with our mother in a nursing home out of state, my younger sister usually tried to keep up the tradition and eat a hot dog with mother…or at least in her/our honor.

This year was the first year Mother wasn’t available for a hot dog. And for some of us, the tradition had begun to fade into the background. This year, however, I did take a moment to pause and remember fondly the tradition of some 40+ years and smile, in gratitude, for the many years we had her in our lives.

As more holidays approach this month, consider the possibility of “birthing” a new tradition in honor of your loved one or “tweaking” an old tradition that may be due for a change. Regardless of the tradition, the gift is in the honoring and remembering itself.

Ruth Williams is a counselor with Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavement support program of Alive Hospice.

Dr. David Tribble

Last weekend, my wife and I put up the Christmas tree. We didn’t do it last year, feeling stretched between old and new lives and having a one-year-old Great Dane pup in the house. Besides, it is just the two of us now. But, now that it is up, I am glad we did it. The tree is decked with ornaments that are mementos of numerous events over the years, that are family heirlooms, that are symbols of the season, and I get joy from just sitting in the room with it and looking at it.

On many levels, this has not been a great year for joy. Money is tight for almost everybody, and for those families whose loved one died with us this year, there is an empty place at the table or around the tree. It is for just that reason that these are the best times to overcome the inertia and put up the tree, decorate the house, and immerse ourselves in the promise of the season. If we allow it to do so, it can help us heal a little. We can find peace and joy in the symbols and rituals of the season.

Have a joyous holiday, everyone!

Dr. David Tribble is Alive Hospice’s chief medical officer.

Pam Brown

“We cannot thank our donors often enough.” That’s one of the “mantras” of Alive Hospice’s Community Development Department. Alive Hospice recently had the honor of thanking a special person who has made more singular gifts to the agency than any other donor.

Mrs. Grace “Momma” Stumb was     touched by a certificate of appreciation     presented to her by her friends at Alive     Hospice.

At the time of this writing Grace “Momma” Stumb has made 466 donations to Alive Hospice. On November 17, Board Chair Harriet Karro, President and CEO Jan Jones, and I surprised Mrs. Stumb with a certificate of appreciation. About 15 of her relatives were on hand to witness the event. Cameras were flashing. Laughter and joyful tears were abundant. Mrs. Stumb took advantage of the opportunity to remind her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren that they were a blessed family and to always remember to look out for others who were less fortunate.

While Momma Stumb clearly enjoyed her surprise, she doesn’t understand why Alive Hospice felt the need to thank her in this way. In her mind, she’s just doing what she can to support a favorite nonprofit organization, and it’s really not a “big deal” to her. Mrs. Stumb embodies the essence of philanthropy: a desire to selflessly help others.

Thank you, Momma Stumb.

Pam Brown is Alive Hospice’s vice president of community development.

Some recent articles focusing on hospice, the end of life, and grief matters:

The Daily News Journal (Murfreesboro, Tennessee) published an article about coping with grief during the holidays that’s chock full of helpful information. Alive Hospice Grief Counselor Pam Quaintance was quoted in this article.

Associated Press writer Katie Nelson told of the role hospice care has played since it arrived in the United States 35 years ago. The first hospice in the U.S., Connecticut Hospice, was founded in 1974. (Did you know? Alive Hospice was founded in Nashville, Tennessee, just one year later.)

New York Times columnist Jane E. Brody wrote about the many ways hospice caregivers provide comfort to the terminally ill and the difference it has made for several patients and families.

And last but not least, a heartwarming profile of Kaukauna, Wisconsin, hospice volunteer Franny Kilgas.