Tam Royse

October 10th, 2009 is World Hospice and Palliative Care Day. Three years ago, at this same time of the year, I was able to glimpse first hand the importance of being (in the words of Alive Hospice President and CEO Jan Jones), a “citizen of the world.” In October of 2006, Jan Jones and I and a group of fantastic folks from St. George’s Episcopal Church in Nashville traveled to South Africa to visit with our sister hospice, Hospice in the West, which is in the West Rand region of South Africa.

Alive Hospice had been partnered with Hospice in the West for several years and all of our partnership activities had been done long-distance. The time had finally come to put faces to the wonderful people who provided hospice care in a country where resources were scarce and AIDS had wiped out millions. As luck would have it, Naomi Tutu organized the trip and traveled with us, teaching us about the history and the culture of South Africa.

    Visitors from Alive Hospice were     welcomed to Hospice in the West in     Krugersorp, South Africa, with open     arms in 2006. Pictured: Marisa De     Fonseca Wolheim, director of Hospice     in the West, presents the South African     flag to Alive Hospice President and CEO     Jan Jones. The flag was signed by     Hospice in the West staff.

Our first day at Hospice in the West, we were welcomed with songs from the staff and patients that sent chills up my spine and brought tears to my eyes. I had never felt so much love and happiness in a room. It permeated through everyone and everything. Later, we were given a chance to meet patients and I sat next to “Paula” (name changed to protect privacy) and we both smiled nervously, neither knowing what to say.

I had so many thoughts going through my mind, yet I seemed to have lost my ability to talk. I felt my face flush as I continued to struggle for the words that would convey to Paula how wonderful it was to know her and to learn from her. I turned to speak, but before I could push those words out of my mouth, Paula turned to me and while she looked down at the floor, she said quietly, “I’m so happy that you know we are here.”

As the days passed, I watched nurses and volunteers see patient after patient living in tin shacks with dirt floors, no running water or electricity, and the only food they had was what had been given to them by Hospice in the West. The ability to get appropriate pain management is minimal, and paracetamol (acetaminophen) is the most readily available pain medication. Every home I entered into, I was welcomed with beautiful smiles and hugs that warmed me right down to the center of my heart and soul. I was made to feel as if I was an old friend coming in for a visit. Love played the perfect interpreter which speaks any language.

South Africa is ravaged by HIV and AIDS. In 2008, over 250,000 South Africans died of AIDS. Hospice in the West cares for many of those people with AIDS. The amazing thing is that they not only provide that care with no funding from the government, but they continue to care for the children of the patients who have died from AIDS. The work that Hospice in the West has done to care for the vulnerable and orphaned children in the area that they serve has and will continue to have a magnificent rippling effect on the lives of those children and their children.

    Representatives of South Africa’s Hospice in the West     visited Alive Hospice in 2007. Pictured above are     Counselor Tlala “Joe” Thabane and Nurse Catherine      “Sister Snowy” Nkoana.

They provide a safe haven for them in a crisis until a more stable family situation can be found for them. They have children’s groups throughout the year and parties at Christmas so that they can receive gifts that they would have received from their parents if they were still alive. The love that is provided to these children by the staff and volunteers of Hospice in the West is a true example for all of us to follow.

“I’m so happy that you know we are here.”

I remember Acts 20:35 and the words that some of us learn as children: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” How can I convey to Paula and everyone else that I met during my travels in South Africa that I have received much more than I have given?

I have learned from my friends the true meaning of love. Love is free and can be provided anywhere the heart chooses to carry it.

Tam Royse is Alive Hospice’s director of performance improvement and training and serves as chair of the agency’s Hospice in the West Committee.

Ruth Williams

When you’re a teenager, life itself may seem to be a constant challenge. Every day is some new crisis. Maybe your best friend started dating your ex-boyfriend or your math teacher had the nerve to give you a pop quiz. Maybe you missed your bus or missed a pass on the football field. Your mom just doesn’t understand … or your dad is way too strict.

     Participants at the Alive Teen Retreat      took part in a variety of indoor and      outdoor activities, including a high      ropes course. Many of the activities      were metaphors for coping with loss.      Though some activities were challenging,      they werenot impossible with friends      and caring adults cheering them on and      telling them they could do it.

Well, to some teens, having just one more day with their mom or their dad would be an amazing gift. Tragically, accidents and illnesses take moms and dads away from their precious children every day. Whether the death is unexpected or dreaded for months or years, the loss is unimaginable. Your mom and dad are simply supposed to be there. Forever. They’re supposed to be around to irritate you, nag you, ground you, even catch you doing things you’re not supposed to be doing. That’s what they’re supposed to do when you’re a teen.

This past weekend, Alive Hospice held its first teen retreat for high school students. Almost all of the teens had lost a parent. One teen had lost both mom and dad. Other teens often don’t understand this unimaginable loss. Parents who are often thorns in the sides of most teens are missed horribly.

Coming together with a shared grief was a gift to one another. An uncommon grief was shared on common ground, surrounded and supported by caring adults. They laughed and cried, challenging themselves emotionally and physically. They participated in rituals of remembrance, taking steps further along the journey of healing.

Many thanks to all who supported this first-time teen retreat! With continued support, we hope we will be able to offer it again next year.

Ruth Williams is a counselor with Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavement support program of Alive Hospice.

Hospice care has been making headlines again. A round-up of recent news items about living at the end of life:

• The Chicago Tribune took a look at the value of conversations about end-of-life wishes and what’s being done in Chicago to encourage advance care planning. Readers including Jeanne M. Martinez wrote in to express their appreciation and to share their views on the subject.

• The Clarion-Ledger (Jackson, Mississippi) showed how hospice volunteers make a difference in the lives of terminally ill patients and their loved ones.

• The Northwest Florida Daily News wrote about a special wish that was fulfilled for a hospice patient and World War II veteran, and the Folsom Telegraph examined a California woman’s end-of-life journey and the support hospice care provides on that walk.

• From the Daily News Journal (Murfreesboro, Tennessee): One of Alive Hospice’s own patients received a very special surprise, thanks to the generosity of some Nashville-area car enthusiasts.

Jan Jones

I often say how blessed we are to have wonderful staff and volunteers here at Alive Hospice. Yesterday, we had one of our quarterly All-Staff Meetings, which always begins with a “mission moment” shared by one of our staff. Yesterday was extraordinarily special. It began with a story about watermelons.

Watermelons, you say?  What in the world do they have to do with hospice care?  Actually, this is more about the teller than about the watermelons. We have an exceptional maintenance person named Eddie who has a permanent smile on his face and a kind word for everyone with whom he comes in contact. He told the story of how he was at the farmer’s market looking for something refreshing for the staff in the dog days of summer (last year we gave away Gatorade). This year, he was thinking about watermelons. 

As he searched for them he came upon a farmer who, when seeing Eddie’s badge and recognizing him as an employee of Alive Hospice, said, “I will give you the watermelons,” and proceeded to tell the story of the care his family received from us. 

Eddie said he almost felt guilty accepting the praise for our care since he doesn’t directly care for patients and families, so he began to ask himself how he might have an impact. He thought about the linens that we provide and how he might be able to find some that were softer on the skin than those we were currently using. He accomplished that task. When he told of how he could envision a loved one taking a soft washcloth, wetting it with cool water and putting it to a loved ones forehead there wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

That, my friends, is what you get when you are involved with Alive Hospice. Caring, loving people who try to think of every detail, no matter how small.

If you are a nurse or social worker looking for a place to be able to serve in such a way, we are that place. If you are someone in need of service, it would be our privilege to serve you and your family. If you want to help support this mission and make a real difference, we would be honored to receive your support as a volunteer or a donor.

And I can only say “Thank you” to Eddie for his spirit and loving kindness each and every day.

Jan Jones is president and CEO of Alive Hospice.