If you weren’t able to attend Alive Hospice’s conference for faith leaders earlier this month, you can still benefit from what the presenters had to say! We’ve made available the text from all four presentations as a free and helpful resource. Alive Hospice Blogger and Chaplain Nanette Mathe was one of the presenters, along with Chaplain Allen Withers, Chaplain Mark Russell and Chaplain Phyllis Sublett.

Don’t miss these powerful presentations!

Dr. David Tribble

One of our own lost her father recently, unexpectedly. With that event, those of us who work with her brought our offerings of care and support and were acutely aware of her pain and her loss. Though we work with death, and the pain it leaves behind, every day, it was different having it this close, this personal.

I am reminded, then, that death is this close, this raw, this personal for the people we have the privilege to serve. Each death is someone’s father, mother, sister, brother and those who remain have these same feelings. For them it is personal, up close, and raw.

The world is a poorer place for this man’s absence, but even his death carried this lesson for me: death is always personal, up close and raw. It is never routine, no matter how frequently we encounter it.

Dr. David Tribble is Alive Hospice’s chief medical officer.

Ruth Williams

As a grief counselor, I have the honor of being with folks as they share their stories of loss. I meet them wherever they are on their own unique journey of grieving, doing my best to help them through it. At times I may offer a sense of hope, and at other times I simply offer my presence as a supportive person witnessing their inevitable pain.

Every person is of course unique; however, one common thread is the significance of certain days. Our clients often anticipate each new holiday, birthday, wedding anniversary, etc. with dread. Sometimes it’s experienced as a bump in the road. Other times it literally feels as if it’s Mt. Everest.

Something that helps – particularly if you are anticipating it with foreboding – is to plan something special for that day. Some may choose to visit the cemetery or be with other loved ones. Some may want to be alone with their thoughts and memories. Often planning an activity, consciously doing something, helps get you through the day. And, the next day will come.

It will.

I have had folks report surprising changes in themselves following a day of significance. One person said she wasn’t expecting anything special as she approached the day marking a year following the death of a loved one. She thought it would probably be just like any other day; and yet, she awoke the next day feeling as if a cloud had been lifted. She was as surprised as those around her. Another person was expecting a big change once the new year had begun; and yet, nothing at all changed as the calendar turned a new year.

Just knowing that dates and special days can be significant may help get you through them, with the help of others, as needed. They may feel magical or mystical; but, just as much as a miracle turnaround could happen, the day may also pass barely noticed. Your grief is your own and no one else’s.

The topic of special days is on my mind currently because this month marks one year since my own mother died. My mother’s release from the world was a gift. She was 87 and so ready for that next step in her journey. However, I am very conscious of the fact that she has been gone for a year now. And, although she was not present in mind for many years, she was still a physical presence.

In her honor, my two sisters will visit her gravesite, which is shared with our father as well (in another state). And I’ll be with other grief counselors and perhaps lift a glass of iced tea in her honor. A special day of remembrance. How will I feel? I’m not sure. I do know I have friends and colleagues just a phone call away if I need them – and that’s a comfort, for sure.

Ruth Williams is a counselor with Alive Grief Support Services, the bereavement support program of Alive Hospice.

Jeanna Kinnebrew

Many visitors to Alive Hospice’s main campus and Residence have asked about the engraved bricks leading up to the main entrance. This feature is one of the most unique things about Alive Hospice’s main campus: our Memorial Brick Walkway.

Begun in 1996 in memory of beloved Alive Hospice employee and patient Lynn Meade Thompson, the brick walkway has grown from a secluded garden path to a walkway of over 1,000 bricks lining the front entrance to Alive Hospice and surrounding our memorial fountain. As the walkway grows, it will wind through the Alive Hospice administration and Residence grounds.

Each brick that is installed in the     Alive Hospice Memorial Brick Walkway     is a lasting tribute.

The walkway provides a tangible way for friends and family to remember or honor their loved ones. Proceeds from memorial brick orders go toward supporting our mission of providing loving care to people with life-threatening illnesses and support to their families, regardless of ability to pay.

Many family members enjoy returning each year at a special time to visit their memorial brick and reminisce. Bricks are also purchased in honor of friends of Alive Hospice, or in recognition of their service to an organization; for example, a medical services group might contribute for a brick as a holiday gift for a special coworker.

For family members who live far away from Alive Hospice, or for those who want a permanent copy of their memorial brick, we also offer mini-bricks. These are paperweight-sized and may be engraved with the same or a different engraving from the full-size bricks permanently installed in the walkway.

Bricks are ordered twice per year, at the end of February and then again at the end of August. The spring brick order is usually delivered and installed in the late summer, and the fall order is usually in place by Thanksgiving.

For more information on this special way to remember a loved one, please call Alive Hospice at 615-327-1085 and ask for someone in the Community Development department. We will be happy to work with you to choose an engraving and talk with you about the different brick purchase options.

Jeanna Kinnebrew is Alive Hospice’s annual fund manager.

The Alive Hospice Memorial Brick Walkway is a special way to welcome visitors and make a lasting tribute to loved ones. Proceeds from memorial brick orders help ensure that care will be provided for all who need it, regardless of insurance coverage or ability to pay.

Sarah Neeley

As the clinical nurse educator for Alive Hospice, one of my favorite days of the month is the day for annual skills lab for nurses. We need this day to review skills, assess competency, and learn new skills and issues related to hospice care.

I love this day because nurses from Alive Hospice’s inpatient units, after-hours nurses, and home care nurses that may have never met are brought together. Many know each other’s voices and are thrilled to see “the face.” As the day progresses, conversations begin about the personal challenges we all face when providing end-of-life care. This discussion always occurs and it never ceases to amaze me how these nurses support each other to maintain their passion for end-of-life care.

The inpatient unit nurses develop a greater understanding for the home care nurses, just as the after-hours nurses do the same for all. A deep respect and compassion begins for each nurse and their role. We all begin to appreciate that it takes all of our dedication for our patients to have the excellent end-of-life care Alive Hospice provides.

This process unfolds slowly as the morning begins and momentum gains as the day goes. Stories are told, tears are shed, laughter is present and questions asked: “Has anyone…”;“Does anyone else sometimes feel…”; and “Sometimes I just want to be a _____ nurse because the caring and love and loss are too hard.”

I am told that nurses learn during this special day. I am told they enjoy the day and are grateful for the commitment Alive has made for this day.

I always want to write Thank You notes to the attendees. I would say thank you for your loving care and thank you for willingly sharing the challenges and heartbreaks in providing such loving care.

I adore the nurses Alive Hospice has. Please, take a moment every day and thank a nurse. Their hearts are heavy with grief and are comforted by a death that was peaceful. Their minds are full of wisdom that they are so willing to share. Their souls are those of angels. Each hospice nurse goes with patients and families to places even angels fear to tread.

Annual Performance Skills Lab day is a wonderful day for me. I thank all of our unbelievable nurses!

Sarah Neeley is Alive Hospice’s clinical nurse educator.

Nanette Mathe

People often ask if I sing to or with my patients. Sometimes I do, especially if the patient is non-verbal. I believe that music is a way of spiritually connecting with others.

One day I entered the room of a woman who was getting close to the end of her life. She looked at me with frightened eyes when I entered, so I sat way across the room so she wouldn’t be afraid. Soon, she forgot I was there and started humming.

I spoke to her quietly telling her who I was. She stopped singing and looked at me. I told her that she had a beautiful singing voice and sang “Jesus Loves Me” to her. She smiled and began to hum loudly, smiling all the while. It sounded like “Silent Night” so I started to sing it. She responded with more smiling and eye contact. When I finished she hummed “O Come, All Ye Faithful” and beamed at me when she was finished. I praised her singing and clapped.

She laughed.

I came closer and asked if I could pray with her. She smiled, so I prayed. I held her hand and watched her retreat back into the dementia. We touched each other, just for a short time, with our music. What a gift!

Today, Alive Hospice welcomed community faith leaders for a conference on spiritual care at the end of life. Four Alive Hospice chaplains spoke on a variety of topics, and there was plenty of time for the exchange of ideas between participants and the presenters.

It can be hard to know what to say or do when visiting a dying person and/or family members, and it can be hard to know how to take care of oneself in the process of providing spiritual support. The goals of the conference were to provide insights on these topics and to offer tools to help turn a difficult visit into a very meaningful experience.

Working together and staying connected, hospice chaplains and community faith leaders can do a great deal to comfort and support the people in their care.

@AliveHospice live-tweeted during the conference. You can check out what the presenters had to say at http://www.twitter.com/alivehospice or by searching for the hashtag #faithleaders.

Thank you to the all of the faith leaders who attended today’s conference! Each person who was present enhanced the experience for all involved.

Janny Adkins

When I speak to families and patients about hospice care, they often express confusion, because they have the misconception that hospice care is only for those individuals who are very near death. This is one of the biggest misconceptions regarding hospice care.

Hospice care is for those individuals who have chosen to not pursue curative goals of their disease. This does not mean that “there is nothing more to be done.” It does mean that the focus of care is on management of the symptoms of the disease process, thereby allowing patients and their families to live and enjoy life as long as possible.

I often say to patients and families, “Let’s prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.” We want our patients and families to prepare for the possibility of death, but interestingly, sometimes when curative goals are abandoned for palliative care or symptom control goals, the patient’s physical condition may improve. The disease process is still present, but problematic symptoms that can often interfere with comfort care are controlled or managed.

Also, the requirement for admission to hospice care is an order from two physicians. The patient’s primary physician and an Alive Hospice physician certify that, if the disease process continues at its current rate, the patient’s life could end in six months. This is a statistical guess actually, and often our patients outlive this statistical projection. When this occurs, we discharge the patient for extended prognosis. We celebrate.

And if and when their physical condition warrants readmission to hospice care, we admit them once again. Each day is a gift to be lived fully regardless of goals of care.

Janny Adkins is an Alive Hospice account executive who informs health care professionals, patients, and families about hospice care.